apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
