We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
