We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
