need another drink. this is the easiest way
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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