Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
