By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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