It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
