god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
