Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
