you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
