PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
