For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
