idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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