Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
