STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
