Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
