is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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