I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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