i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
