Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
