is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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