kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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