I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
