I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
