Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
