Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
