I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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