I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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