I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
