Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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