I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
