I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
