Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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