I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
3 2 1 whiskey
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
