there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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