yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
