Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
