I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
