This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
