I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
