You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
