The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
