I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
