if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
