Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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