Is it because I queefed?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
