What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
