it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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