she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
