True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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