He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am available for nakedness
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
