ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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