make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
