Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize