he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
