HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
