I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
