it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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