you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
