omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was born a porn star she said
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
