Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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