video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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