Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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