Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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