My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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